BABY GIRL , CURSE THEM ALL YOU WANT
CUZ YOU HAVE THE RIGHTS TO DO SO
DO IT DO IT DO IT !
OWNED
A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms.
The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that."
"Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack."
The young man makes his purchase and leaves.
Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes.
The girl leans over to him and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person."
The boy leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."
The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that."
"Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack."
The young man makes his purchase and leaves.
Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes.
The girl leans over to him and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person."
The boy leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."
Little Johnny was going to his faters house one day and he was packing everthing in his room and putting it in his little red wagon.
He was walking to his fathers house with his wagon behind him, when he came to this hill.
He started up the hill but was constantly swearing "This God damn thing is so heavy"
A priest heard him and came out. "You shouldn't be swearing" said the priest. "God hears you...He is everywhere...He's in the chruch...He's on the sidewalk...He's everywhere"
Then Little Johnny says "Oh is he in my Wagon"
The prist replies "Yes Johnny God is in your Wagon"
Little Johnny says "Well tell him to get the hell out and start pulling"
He was walking to his fathers house with his wagon behind him, when he came to this hill.
He started up the hill but was constantly swearing "This God damn thing is so heavy"
A priest heard him and came out. "You shouldn't be swearing" said the priest. "God hears you...He is everywhere...He's in the chruch...He's on the sidewalk...He's everywhere"
Then Little Johnny says "Oh is he in my Wagon"
The prist replies "Yes Johnny God is in your Wagon"
Little Johnny says "Well tell him to get the hell out and start pulling"
Masturbate Joke
Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?'
Little Johnny waves his hand, 'Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!'
Miss Rogers:'All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable word?'
Little Johnny says, 'Mas-tur-bate.'
Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful.'
Little Johnny says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob".
Little Johnny waves his hand, 'Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!'
Miss Rogers:'All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable word?'
Little Johnny says, 'Mas-tur-bate.'
Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful.'
Little Johnny says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob".
A night with the princess
A King had to leave his Kingdom for some business. He was afraid that his only Daughter would be taken advantage of by some of the Guards because she was a very deep sleeper. So before he left, he slipped a razor blade between the lips of her vagina.
The King left. That night, three of the Guards did plan to Fuck the Princess.
The First Guard went into her room. From outside of the room, the other two Guards listened. Suddenly, they heard the First Guard scream. He came out. The other two Guards asked why he screamed. Embarrassed, he said that it was so good that he couldn't control himself. This made the other two smile.
The Second Guard went in. After some time? Ahhhhh!!! The Second Guard came out. The Third Guard asked what happened. Just as embarrassed as the First Guard, the Second Guard said that it felt so good that he couldn't control himself. The Third Guard smiled.
The Third Guard went into the room. He went up to the Princess and lifted her dress. Outside, the other two Guards listened. Mmmmmhhhh!?! The other two Guards took off! The next morning, the King came back. He suspected that his Guards tried to fuck his daughter. He told them to drop their pants. Each of them did. Two of them had sliced dicks, but the third one didn?t. Confused, the King asked why. He stuck his tongue out and said, ?I neba pry fuk ur dahta, I wet lik ur dahta?!
The King left. That night, three of the Guards did plan to Fuck the Princess.
The First Guard went into her room. From outside of the room, the other two Guards listened. Suddenly, they heard the First Guard scream. He came out. The other two Guards asked why he screamed. Embarrassed, he said that it was so good that he couldn't control himself. This made the other two smile.
The Second Guard went in. After some time? Ahhhhh!!! The Second Guard came out. The Third Guard asked what happened. Just as embarrassed as the First Guard, the Second Guard said that it felt so good that he couldn't control himself. The Third Guard smiled.
The Third Guard went into the room. He went up to the Princess and lifted her dress. Outside, the other two Guards listened. Mmmmmhhhh!?! The other two Guards took off! The next morning, the King came back. He suspected that his Guards tried to fuck his daughter. He told them to drop their pants. Each of them did. Two of them had sliced dicks, but the third one didn?t. Confused, the King asked why. He stuck his tongue out and said, ?I neba pry fuk ur dahta, I wet lik ur dahta?!
thiss. is. kyu. hacking. in.
(because im such a no-lifer)
okay, where do i start? uhh, girls, hes mine. :O (yess, he is. )
dont take him away. )': *huggles him*
andand, dont hate me.
or chase after me with knives in your hands.
because.
i have a greenade!
okay? no stealing.
MINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINE.
MORE
id like to have your triplecheese burger with extra salad and tomato sprinkled with mozarella and mixed with some hot tobacco sprinkledd with the love of magic .
OHH WAIT
i dont want that , i want YOU :D
OHH WAIT
i dont want that , i want YOU :D
FLASHH
lets take a picture together .
and post it on Facebook , and ppl will seee how much you mean to me
andand , take a picture while we hugg or kiss or holding hands , or hugg or holding hands
im desperate to see you now <3
and post it on Facebook , and ppl will seee how much you mean to me
andand , take a picture while we hugg or kiss or holding hands , or hugg or holding hands
im desperate to see you now <3
PLEASE ?
DONT GO , im scared if you go .
im going to be all alone , crying myself , thinking of great times we spent together
I LOVE YOU , so much <3
i just dont wanna let chuu go babey
i love you SooSuen , so much
im going to be all alone , crying myself , thinking of great times we spent together
I LOVE YOU , so much <3
i just dont wanna let chuu go babey
i love you SooSuen , so much
100 TRUTHS
WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last beverage: Mirinda strawberry
2. Last phone call : dad
3. Last text message: SMOOCHYPOO <3
4. Last song you listened to : Asking Alexandria - hey there Mr.brooks
5. Last time you cried : days agoo
HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice: YES
7. Been cheated on: YES!
8. Kissed someone & regretted it : NOPE
9. Lost someone special: Yeah )':
10. Been depressed: YES!
11. Been drunk and threw up : not YET :)
LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. Black .
13. Red .
14. purple
THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2010)
15. Made a new friend: Yes . :)
16. Fallen out of love: oops , just fell in :D
17. Laughed until you cried: DUHH :D
18. Met someone who changed you: totally .
19. Found out who your true friends were: Yeahh ;D
20. Found out someone was talking about you: YEAH . -.-
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: YES :)
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: umm 80 out of 100%?
23. How many kids do you want: NEVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
24. Do you have any pets: CATS
25. Do you want to change your name: Nope .
26. What did you do for your last birthday : Go shopping with my closest friends <3
27. What time did you wake up today : 11 smth
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: texting
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: sleepover wt smoochypoo
30. Last time you saw your Mother: 10/12
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I wanna have true friends :/
32. What are you listening to right now: Nothing ? O:
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Tom Anderson of Myspace :B
34. Who's getting on your nerves right now: My friends ? AS USUAL HAHAHA
35. Most visited webpage: Facebook , Youtube and Twitter .
36. Whats your real name: Muhammad Adam Malik Bin Abd malik
37. Nicknames: niiigeerr
38. Relationship Status: TAYKENN
39. Zodiac sign: ARIES
40. Male or female: Male .
41. Primary School: None HAHA
42. Secondary School : SDJ
43. High school/college: going to , i think
44. Hair colour: BLACK
45. Long or short: Medium ;)
46. Height: 180 , eat that
47. Do you have a crush on someone: NOPE
48: What do you like about yourself: Nothing
49. Piercings: - .
50. Tattoos: -.-
51. Righty or lefty: righty :D
FIRSTS :
52. First surgery: nope
53. First piercing: nope
54. First best friend: STILL HERE
55. First sport you joined: running :D .
56. First vacation: uhh , SG i think
58. First pair of trainers: IDK ? -_________-
RIGHT NOW:
59. Eating: none
60. Drinking: skyjuice
61. I'm about to: skate , YEAH BITCHIES
62. Listening to: NONE
63. Waiting for: you , and the sleepover :D
HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger: NOPE
77. Drank hard liquor: NOPE
78. Lost glasses/contacts: Nopeee .
79. Sex on first date: NOPE
80. Broken someone's heart: Yeah . :/
81. Had your own heart broken: Yeah .
82. Been arrested: NOPE
83. Turned someone down: Yeah .
84. Cried when someone died: yeahh .:(
85. Fallen for a friend: Maybe .
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: yes .
87. Miracles: No .
88. Love at first sight: SOMETIMES (:
89. Heaven : Yes .
90. Santa Claus : No :P
91. Kiss on the first date: Yes (:
92. Angels: Yeah . :')
93.ALLAH :)
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 gf/bf : Duhh ?
95. Did you sing today: Yeah . :DDD
96. Ever cheated on somebody: ONCE
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go: the day i met SooSuen :)
98. The moment you would choose to relive: The moment I met you <3
99. Are you afraid of falling in love: NOPE
100. Posting this as 100 truths? : YES , DONE :)
1. Last beverage: Mirinda strawberry
2. Last phone call : dad
3. Last text message: SMOOCHYPOO <3
4. Last song you listened to : Asking Alexandria - hey there Mr.brooks
5. Last time you cried : days agoo
HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice: YES
7. Been cheated on: YES!
8. Kissed someone & regretted it : NOPE
9. Lost someone special: Yeah )':
10. Been depressed: YES!
11. Been drunk and threw up : not YET :)
LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. Black .
13. Red .
14. purple
THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2010)
15. Made a new friend: Yes . :)
16. Fallen out of love: oops , just fell in :D
17. Laughed until you cried: DUHH :D
18. Met someone who changed you: totally .
19. Found out who your true friends were: Yeahh ;D
20. Found out someone was talking about you: YEAH . -.-
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: YES :)
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: umm 80 out of 100%?
23. How many kids do you want: NEVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
24. Do you have any pets: CATS
25. Do you want to change your name: Nope .
26. What did you do for your last birthday : Go shopping with my closest friends <3
27. What time did you wake up today : 11 smth
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: texting
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: sleepover wt smoochypoo
30. Last time you saw your Mother: 10/12
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I wanna have true friends :/
32. What are you listening to right now: Nothing ? O:
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Tom Anderson of Myspace :B
34. Who's getting on your nerves right now: My friends ? AS USUAL HAHAHA
35. Most visited webpage: Facebook , Youtube and Twitter .
36. Whats your real name: Muhammad Adam Malik Bin Abd malik
37. Nicknames: niiigeerr
38. Relationship Status: TAYKENN
39. Zodiac sign: ARIES
40. Male or female: Male .
41. Primary School: None HAHA
42. Secondary School : SDJ
43. High school/college: going to , i think
44. Hair colour: BLACK
45. Long or short: Medium ;)
46. Height: 180 , eat that
47. Do you have a crush on someone: NOPE
48: What do you like about yourself: Nothing
49. Piercings: - .
50. Tattoos: -.-
51. Righty or lefty: righty :D
FIRSTS :
52. First surgery: nope
53. First piercing: nope
54. First best friend: STILL HERE
55. First sport you joined: running :D .
56. First vacation: uhh , SG i think
58. First pair of trainers: IDK ? -_________-
RIGHT NOW:
59. Eating: none
60. Drinking: skyjuice
61. I'm about to: skate , YEAH BITCHIES
62. Listening to: NONE
63. Waiting for: you , and the sleepover :D
HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger: NOPE
77. Drank hard liquor: NOPE
78. Lost glasses/contacts: Nopeee .
79. Sex on first date: NOPE
80. Broken someone's heart: Yeah . :/
81. Had your own heart broken: Yeah .
82. Been arrested: NOPE
83. Turned someone down: Yeah .
84. Cried when someone died: yeahh .:(
85. Fallen for a friend: Maybe .
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: yes .
87. Miracles: No .
88. Love at first sight: SOMETIMES (:
89. Heaven : Yes .
90. Santa Claus : No :P
91. Kiss on the first date: Yes (:
92. Angels: Yeah . :')
93.ALLAH :)
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 gf/bf : Duhh ?
95. Did you sing today: Yeah . :DDD
96. Ever cheated on somebody: ONCE
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go: the day i met SooSuen :)
98. The moment you would choose to relive: The moment I met you <3
99. Are you afraid of falling in love: NOPE
100. Posting this as 100 truths? : YES , DONE :)
ID LOVE TO
id love to do all those things with you , youre the sweetest taste of sin babey
-id kiss you . while standing , lying down , sitting down , or wtv
-id hughughughug you
-get wet with you . HAHAH
-andandand get in bed together (:
I LOVE YOU (:
-id kiss you . while standing , lying down , sitting down , or wtv
-id hughughughug you
-get wet with you . HAHAH
-andandand get in bed together (:
I LOVE YOU (:
PUCKAWF
dude , stop adding my friend please . and stop thinking that ppl are im pressed because you go clubbing evrytnight and shite , i BET THATS FAKE , i bet YOURE fake .
i mean . THE WAY you avoid stuff like , when me and my GF ask you to go out with us , there's always stupid reasons for you not to come , i bet youre 30+ or 40+ . gosh youre so fake ,
and stop acting like a total jerk to my friends , YOU ADD THEM and you fucking show off to them ?
WHATS THAT ?
thats fucking shit you asswipe . thats the most stupid thing to do ,
lucky my friend asked me who are you . and i fkn explained to him who are you . and i told him that youre a fucking fake ass mothefucker , andand , i know youre rich . SO FUCKING WHAT ?
YOU FUCKING BRAG ALL THE TIME , YOU PUSSY OUT WHEN THERES A FIGHT , OH MAN , NO WONDER GIRLS RUNAWAY FROM YOU . because youre A SELFISH MOTHERFUCKER . you dont think abt how ppl think , all you think is that you add my friends and fucking brag , BURN IN HELL MOTHERFUCKER , i dont care if you say im immature or what . well guess wht ?
IM ACTING IMMATURE SO I CAN ENJOY MY TEENAGE LIFE , i dont wanna be mature too early . LIKE YOU , i dont want to be a selfish motherfucker , LIKE YOU , i dont wanna be a brag king LIKE YOU . BURN IN HELL MOTHERFUCKER .
i mean . THE WAY you avoid stuff like , when me and my GF ask you to go out with us , there's always stupid reasons for you not to come , i bet youre 30+ or 40+ . gosh youre so fake ,
and stop acting like a total jerk to my friends , YOU ADD THEM and you fucking show off to them ?
WHATS THAT ?
thats fucking shit you asswipe . thats the most stupid thing to do ,
lucky my friend asked me who are you . and i fkn explained to him who are you . and i told him that youre a fucking fake ass mothefucker , andand , i know youre rich . SO FUCKING WHAT ?
YOU FUCKING BRAG ALL THE TIME , YOU PUSSY OUT WHEN THERES A FIGHT , OH MAN , NO WONDER GIRLS RUNAWAY FROM YOU . because youre A SELFISH MOTHERFUCKER . you dont think abt how ppl think , all you think is that you add my friends and fucking brag , BURN IN HELL MOTHERFUCKER , i dont care if you say im immature or what . well guess wht ?
IM ACTING IMMATURE SO I CAN ENJOY MY TEENAGE LIFE , i dont wanna be mature too early . LIKE YOU , i dont want to be a selfish motherfucker , LIKE YOU , i dont wanna be a brag king LIKE YOU . BURN IN HELL MOTHERFUCKER .
YOU.
i know i make you completely breathless . i could give you some of mine ?
you want some , or you want lots of my air ? ;)
you want some , or you want lots of my air ? ;)
FRIDAYFRIDAY
OH DAYM , THANKS ARCADE . because of you , i got a kiss , not just A kiss , IT WAS 4 TIMES . hahhah
DAYM , it was all wet :DD
its okay , ill practice more on my kissing okay :D
DAYM , it was all wet :DD
its okay , ill practice more on my kissing okay :D
Friday
YAYY , this friday me is going out , wt SooSuen,Sabrina,Sabastian .
AndAnd we gonna watch moooviesss , do some stuff at the arcadee , and a LILBIT of crazy shit stuuffff :D
MAN , i miss YOU . and plus it has been awhile since i dint see you , or even kiss you :P . SSHHHH , haha . remeber the last time ? . THE CINEMA GUY WAS AN ASSHOLE .
stupid shit told us that the movie was PG13 , and then when were about to enter the place , the guy was like , " can i see your IC , this movie is 18 "
I WAS LIKE , " FUCK NO " . and the worse part is the CINEMA GUY SAID that he told us its 18 . FUCK NO . stupid piece of shit .
fkn drama :/
AndAnd we gonna watch moooviesss , do some stuff at the arcadee , and a LILBIT of crazy shit stuuffff :D
MAN , i miss YOU . and plus it has been awhile since i dint see you , or even kiss you :P . SSHHHH , haha . remeber the last time ? . THE CINEMA GUY WAS AN ASSHOLE .
stupid shit told us that the movie was PG13 , and then when were about to enter the place , the guy was like , " can i see your IC , this movie is 18 "
I WAS LIKE , " FUCK NO " . and the worse part is the CINEMA GUY SAID that he told us its 18 . FUCK NO . stupid piece of shit .
fkn drama :/
AWESOME
if you were a snowflake , and possibly id be the same shape as you <3
i am truly yours
ive written SO MANY SONGS about you
my heartbeat goes crazy evrytime if we go out
i like holding your hands , even if i got to hold it for only like , minutes , but thats when ill remember it until i die
well , at least youre not a Queen Control :)
and why i love you ?
BECAUSE YOURE HONEST TO ME
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